September 3, 2002
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Earlier today, I wrote a comment in response to a Xanga friend's weblog about the loss of elderly relatives. At my age (61 going on 62), death is a *major* part of the vicissitudes of life. You don't get very far without it appearing in your path, and the folks who passed to the next reality aren't much older than me, as older folks go---just in their 80's.
Since I believe all factoids in life are relative, I have to say that my experience at this stage of my journey, is that death is relative to senior citizenhood.
Now it just so happens, that I am a sober & clean recovering alcoholic & diet-pillhead (no consumption or use of alcohol or any other mind-altering or addictive drugs, since 1971); as well as an ex-chain smoker (no cigarettes since 1971) .....YA-A-A-AY FOR ME, ON BOTH COUNTS !
I mention this to say that sadly, on a continuous basis for over three decades, I have also dealt with the deaths [from nicotine use and chemical dependency or abuse] of altogether too many of my friends & spiritual family (which is *HUGE*---I'm SO fortunate!). They have died.....both directly & indirectly.....from alcohol poisoning/drug overdose/suicide/cirrhosis of the liver/AIDS/lung cancer & breast cancer + cancer of the gall bladder, etc.---and so on, and so forth. (<---Triple redundancy on purpose). Some of these folks were in recovery & some not.
I had several pets die when I was just a child; my dad died (heart/other) 10 days before my 15th birthday in 1955, and my mother died (heart/other) in the first week after my 17th sobriety anniversary in 1988. I've lost at least 3 people that I know of from AIDS, 4 that I can think of from some sort of cancer, *COUNTLESS* from addiction related causes, and I haven't even mentioned the rest of my blood family (which is also large).
I am a quadruple Scorpio, and death issues are a natural part of the mythology of that astrological sign. My philosophy is, that death is just the transition experience from one dimensional realm of reality to another.
I am not afraid of dying, due to my love for God; and because I've literally been on the brink of death too many times! Still, I don't want to die as yet myself---THERE'S ALWAYS MORE OF GOD'S WORK TO BE DONE! Yet with that statement, I have to say that for my body to die, is to be completely and perfectly *with* God.....no more of the pain, struggle, and loss of the material human realm. Part of me *does* look forward to the day when I migrate to that place of freedom. I don't say that sadly, but with the greatest joy imaginable!
`Til then, I am totally content being here.....doing whatever The Father wants me to do. In spite of the great difficulties [forever inherent] in my particular Life Path experience---I am the blessed recipient of the highest level of fulfillment in the being and doing!
~^~
Gratitude in all,
both great & small.
~^~
Comments (2)
That is a lot of loss in your time...it always puts things into perspective for me to read of other peoples losses. My mother died a week before i turned 5 and my dad died several years ago, sadly im not even sure how many. He was an alcoholic and a pill popper who never made it to recovery. He was not a bad man just a sad and sick one. I still remember the good things about all of the people I have lost. You seem to have come out on top of the battle
Belinda
Wow, it so enlightening to hear about death from the perspective of an older person. It gives a completely different point of veiw. Thank your for you lovely comments on my site. It made me feel a bit more at peace.
Nichole
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