"VERY PUNNY"
For all you Lexiophiles (Lovers of Words)

-Author Unknown
--------------

01.) A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.

02.) What's the definition of a will? It's a dead giveaway.

03.) Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

04.) A backward poet writes inverse.

05.) In democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism it's your count that votes.

06.) She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.

07.) A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

08.) If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.

09.) With her marriage she got a new name
and a dress.

10.) Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.

11.) When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

12.) The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

13.) When a grenade is thrown into a French kitchen, the results are Linoleum Blownapart.

14.) You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

15.) Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.

16.) He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

17.) Every calendar's days are numbered.

18.) A lot of money is tainted. `Taint yours and `taint mine.

19.) A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

20.) He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

21.) A plateau is a high form of flattery.

22.) The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

23.) Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

24.) When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

25.) Those who decide to jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

26.) When a very beautiful actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd just dye.

27.) Professional Bakers trade bread recipes, on a knead to know basis.

28.) Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

29.) Acupuncture is a jab well done.

30.) Marathon runners with bad footwear, suffer the agony of defeat.

~finis~

.....GOOD FRIENDS ARE ONE OF LIFE'S PRICELESS GIFTS!

(Infinite thanks to Belindaann38, who wrote to me ... and by doing so, inspired me to post an update of my activities since my last entry of December 22, 2002.

Belinda is a very dear person, who never ceases to amaze me with her acts of kindness. How lovely of her to send me a personal email inquiry about my welfare. Here is my response to her & my update for everyone else who may be interested.)

~~~
I'm basically okay. I had a lot of invites for the holidays, and was able to do most of them. This was a surprise, because in all of the eleven-plus years that I've been disabled, 2002 has actually been the worst housebound year I've gone through so far; however, I did more socializing and activities, between Turkey Day in November, and New Years, than I did the whole rest of the year combined!

During and after that, I went on a classic Bi-Polar, manic episode, spending spree (it's always with $$$ that I don't really have to throw away), and became overwhelmed with the mountain of returns I was forced to deal with when it ended! I went into the expected slump afterwards, and didn't have a thing to do with the internet or my email for ten days, til today.

Add the fact that I was on a terrible eating binge for about 10 days (18 days, counting holiday events)... the worst in a long time, and I had my hands full "up to here" with myself! (Actually, I haven't completely recovered from the effect of the binge. I'm not exactly binging for the last week or so, but my eating is still mildly troubled, and out of control "around the edges", if anyone understands that.)

Of course, over the 62 year span of my life, this stuff is pretty typical, but it's never easy to deal with ..... no matter how many times I go through it. I take it in my stride and accept it overall --- BUT I DON'T LIKE IT!

Beyond & in spite of all that (I learned decades ago, how to enjoy myself, no matter what!), I had a really lovely and blessed holiday season! I hope all of you did too.

I still have to go through and acknowledge everyone who's interacted with my site. I'll do it as soon as I can! (Still trying to play "catch-up" with reams of unfinished personal biz & chores.)

Lots of Original Earthmom hugs and love to all!

Shell