January 26, 2003
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"VERY PUNNY"
For all you Lexiophiles (Lovers of Words)
-Author Unknown
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01.) A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.
02.) What's the definition of a will? It's a dead giveaway.
03.) Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
04.) A backward poet writes inverse.
05.) In democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism it's your count that votes.
06.) She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
07.) A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
08.) If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
09.) With her marriage she got a new name
and a dress.
10.) Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.
11.) When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
12.) The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
13.) When a grenade is thrown into a French kitchen, the results are Linoleum Blownapart.
14.) You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
15.) Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
16.) He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
17.) Every calendar's days are numbered.
18.) A lot of money is tainted. `Taint yours and `taint mine.
19.) A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
20.) He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
21.) A plateau is a high form of flattery.
22.) The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
23.) Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
24.) When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
25.) Those who decide to jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
26.) When a very beautiful actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd just dye.
27.) Professional Bakers trade bread recipes, on a knead to know basis.
28.) Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
29.) Acupuncture is a jab well done.
30.) Marathon runners with bad footwear, suffer the agony of defeat.
~finis~
Comments (1)
I like 14 19 and 20 best of all
glad to see you back again and thanks for the punny material
Belinda
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