March 18, 2003

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  Disclaimer Alert!!!

  
  I have several friends whose life circumstances could cause them to be offended by some of the statements in this very funny piece.
  
  I am not trying to disrespect anyone, but I also don't carry so-called "policital correctness" to absurd extremes, either. If anyone reading the following entry, is unable to laugh at it --- as well as the whole bunch of us in general --- that's unspeakably rough on them, and I regret their pain ; but the blurb is as humorous as it is "biting" and truthful, and ..... I didn't author it, I'm just passing it on ...... mostly for it's entertainment value.
  
  So-o-o.....Please don't shoot the messenger!
  
  ~Shelley
  

  ~~~~~~~~~~
  
  "TRYING TO HELP"
  By
  Dennis Miller

  
  All the rhetoric on whether or not we should go to war against Iraq has got my little brain spinning like a top. I enjoy reading opinions from both sides, but I've detected a hint of confusion from some of you. Maybe this can help.
  
  As I was reading the paper recently, I was reminded of the best advice anyone ever gave me. He told me about the "KISS" method ("Keep It Simple, Stupid!"). So with this as a theme, I'd like to apply this theory for those who don't quite get it. My hope is that we
  can simplify things and recognize a few important
  facts.
  
  Here are ten things to consider when voicing an opinion on this important issue:
  
  (1) Between President Bush and Saddam Hussein ... Hussein is the bad guy.
  
  (2) If you have faith in the United Nations to do the right things, keep this in mind: the UN has Libya heading the Committee on Human Rights and Iraq heading the Global Disarmament Committee. Do your own math here.
  
  (3) If you use a Google or Yahoo search and type in "French Military Victories," don't be surprised if your computer panics at its inability to respond to your inquiry.
  
  (4) If your only anti-war slogan is "No War For Oil," hire a pit bull lawyer and sue your school district for having allowed you to slip through the cracks and robbing you of the minimum education that any non-troglodyte deserves
  
  (5) You can take this one to the bank: Saddam and bin Laden will NOT seek UN approval before they try to kill us.
  
  (6) Despite common belief among some, Martin Sheen is NOT the President. He only plays one on TV.
  
  (7) If you are anti-war and even an outright "America Basher," to bin Laden you are still an "infidel" whom he wants dead.
  
  (8) Be careful: If you believe in a "vast right-wing conspiracy," but not in the danger that Hussein poses, the only job you may be able to get is as an Ivy League college professor.
  
  (9) Even multiculturalists who try to browbeat us into believing that all cultures are equally deserving of respect have trouble explaining the past 500 years of Islam.
  
  (10) Whether you are for or against military action, our young men and women overseas are fighting to defend our right to speak out on these issues. They deserve our unreserved support.
  
  I hope this helps
  

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  LINKS
  Miller's Official Site
  Unusual Fan Site
  Fan Selected Miller "Rants"
  "Mamma's" Search Results
  
  ~~~~~~~~~~
  
  finis

  
  

  • 5:51 pm
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